Job Hunting Tales

What do we hear every day? "It is impossible to find good workers today." Amiright? That is the excuse given by corporations whenever someone complains about the lack of customer service or a reduction in a store's hours.  We're told "There's just no one out there who wants to work anymore!" or "The unemployment rate is just so low that we can't find workers." 

LIES. Yep, I'm saying it: TOTAL FABRICATIONS. How do I know? Because I have spent the past couple of months applying for jobs - from remote positions to in-person on-site jobs, in offices, retail, and more. I even applied to be a dog-poop picker-upper (or maybe the correct title was "Dog Feces Sanitation Worker"? If it wasn't, it should have been.). I have been on exactly one interview, (I have not heard back, so I am pretty sure I was knocked out of the running when I was shocked that they ban open-toe shoes in their church office.) and have had responses from only a handful of the employers (including the dog sanitation job), almost all in the vein of "Thanks for applying, we have decided to go with someone else, blah blah blah..."). 

I think the worst rejection came from Sam's Club. I applied to be a "personal shopper." Considering that I have shopped at Sam's for years, often for my family of six, and know the store like the back of my hand, not to mention I am seriously a ROCKSTAR shopper, it seemed like a perfect position for me. I already utilize the "Scan and Go" tool on the Sam's Club app: how hard would it to be to use their little handheld device to pick customer orders in store? Did I mention I am a GREAT SHOPPER? But no. Sam's did not want me. I don't know if my availability (8am-2pm every day except Saturday) was the deal breaker or if I failed their psycho-babble personality inventory assessment (20 minutes of my life I will never get back)? But whatever the case, Sam's decided that a college degree'd, former published writer, substitute teacher, High School Swim Coach, mom was not qualified to perform basic shopping tasks for their customers.

Talk about hitting a low point. Is it not bad enough that I am a "woman of a certain age" and dealing with all that comes with hitting the half-century mark in life? Way to hit a girl when she's already dealing with the fun that is the beginning of menopause and empty-nesting, Sam's. Why don't you just knock out my a/c in a heat wave and force me to watch sappy hockey commercials and Hallmark movies, too? (You know I'm not wrong - the hot flashes and tendency to cry over some really stupid stuff is real somedays.) 

What's really pathetic is that I feel like I have a lot to offer as an employee: creativity, high speed typing, a sense of humor, the ability to not get easily offended along with the Gen X mottos - "You're fine...Walk it off....Rub some dirt in it...Stop crying...No one cares..." Who wouldn't want me to work for them? I am AH-MAY-ZING.

So the next time you hear Big Corp complaining that they just can't find good workers, think about the fact that they sure don't seem to be trying very hard. I know I am not the only person who is struggling to get even a response back from an employer after applying for a job. My advice to Big Corp: Maybe you're the problem? Maybe your HR people suck? Maybe they should stop relying on assessments and personality quizzes and actually have a five minute conversation with applicants before moving their application/resume` into the junk folder? Maybe assuming they know everything there is to know about an applicant based solely on a resume` and those time-wasting bs assessments isn't the way to go?