LIES. Yep, I'm saying it: TOTAL FABRICATIONS. How do I know? Because I have spent the past couple of months applying for jobs - from remote positions to in-person on-site jobs, in offices, retail, and more. I even applied to be a dog-poop picker-upper (or maybe the correct title was "Dog Feces Sanitation Worker"? If it wasn't, it should have been.). I have been on exactly one interview, (I have not heard back, so I am pretty sure I was knocked out of the running when I was shocked that they ban open-toe shoes in their church office.) and have had responses from only a handful of the employers (including the dog sanitation job), almost all in the vein of "Thanks for applying, we have decided to go with someone else, blah blah blah...").
I think the worst rejection came from Sam's Club. I applied to be a "personal shopper." Considering that I have shopped at Sam's for years, often for my family of six, and know the store like the back of my hand, not to mention I am seriously a ROCKSTAR shopper, it seemed like a perfect position for me. I already utilize the "Scan and Go" tool on the Sam's Club app: how hard would it to be to use their little handheld device to pick customer orders in store? Did I mention I am a GREAT SHOPPER? But no. Sam's did not want me. I don't know if my availability (8am-2pm every day except Saturday) was the deal breaker or if I failed their psycho-babble personality inventory assessment (20 minutes of my life I will never get back)? But whatever the case, Sam's decided that a college degree'd, former published writer, substitute teacher, High School Swim Coach, mom was not qualified to perform basic shopping tasks for their customers.
Talk about hitting a low point. Is it not bad enough that I am a "woman of a certain age" and dealing with all that comes with hitting the half-century mark in life? Way to hit a girl when she's already dealing with the fun that is the beginning of menopause and empty-nesting, Sam's. Why don't you just knock out my a/c in a heat wave and force me to watch sappy hockey commercials and Hallmark movies, too? (You know I'm not wrong - the hot flashes and tendency to cry over some really stupid stuff is real somedays.)
What's really pathetic is that I feel like I have a lot to offer as an employee: creativity, high speed typing, a sense of humor, the ability to not get easily offended along with the Gen X mottos - "You're fine...Walk it off....Rub some dirt in it...Stop crying...No one cares..." Who wouldn't want me to work for them? I am AH-MAY-ZING.
So the next time you hear Big Corp complaining that they just can't find good workers, think about the fact that they sure don't seem to be trying very hard. I know I am not the only person who is struggling to get even a response back from an employer after applying for a job. My advice to Big Corp: Maybe you're the problem? Maybe your HR people suck? Maybe they should stop relying on assessments and personality quizzes and actually have a five minute conversation with applicants before moving their application/resume` into the junk folder? Maybe assuming they know everything there is to know about an applicant based solely on a resume` and those time-wasting bs assessments isn't the way to go?
